Romanovsky and phillips what kind of self-respecting faggot am i lyrics

Guess that I was destined to be the kind of guy

Who never really fits in, and never keeps in time

So now I've started askin' the question on my mind

What kind of self-respecting faggot am I?



I moved to San Francisco, it seemed the place to be

But I'm not into disco, and bars intimidate me

My only can of Crisco is where it's s'posed to be

What kind of self-respecting faggot am I?



Don't own a single record by Barbra, Bette or Judy

Heard of Bette Davis, but never saw her movies

Guess I'm irresponsible, it seems I've shirked my duty

What kind of self-respecting faggot am I?



I don't read magazines like GQ

My hair's too long, my clothes are out of style

And when the conversation turns to Broadway shows

All I can do is sit and smile



I don't brunch on Sundays, don't own a set of weights

I wouldn't dream of screwing 'till after several dates

I know it's quite pathetic, I might as well be straight

What kind of self-respecting faggot am I?



It's so hard to be a homo, it's hard to play the game

When you don't own a poster of Marilyn (what's her name?)

I know it's hard to fathom, it's really quite a shame

What kind of self-respecting faggot am I?